Letting Go Saved Me
And it could save you too
In my early 20s, I chased milestones like they were deadlines. Every year came with a new set of "shoulds," and the fear of falling behind was sometimes suffocating. When panic struck, I’d frantically text my mom, tears blurring my screen. “When!?” I’d ask.
Her calm reply was always the same: “Everything will fall into place when the time is right.” I never understood why she was so calm. It frustrated me, honestly. In those moments of panic, I wanted her to share my urgency. Looking back, I realize her sense of calm wasn’t indifference. It was wisdom. She’s weathered storms with a peace I’ve always admired. I used to wonder how she did it, how she kept her cool in moments when most people would lose it. Now I know: it was faith.
I started Sweets by Alexandria as a teenager imagining a lifetime spent baking — old, gray, and still covered in flour. I loved it that much. But by 21, I found myself at a crossroads: Stay with the bakery or take a leap and go to college before it felt too late? (Is it ever really too late?)
There I was, a 21-year-old freshman, surrounded by 18-year-olds fresh out of high school. I felt both very out of place and exactly where I needed to be at the same time. And I wouldn’t change a thing. Starting and managing the bakery shaped me in ways no classroom ever could, and without it, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today.
When I graduated, I faced another big decision: move back to my hometown and revive the bakery or chase another dream that had always tugged at my heart which was living in New York City, the place I’d fallen in love with while visiting my grandmother as a child. Every street felt electric, alive, and full of possibility. I was grateful for what I’d built and inspired, but also undeniably burned out.
Deep down, I knew it was time for a change. It was time to let go, at least for now. So, with a mix of excitement and heartbreak, I closed Sweets by Alexandria and I began to mentally prepare for the move and my new career in marketing. Then the pandemic hit. And like so many others, I found myself back at home. It wasn’t what I’d planned, and it delayed the move, but the extra time with my parents turned out to be one of my biggest blessings. Sometimes, when I miss home, I close my eyes and think about those moments. Our shared meals, the laughter, the comfort of simply being together. Those memories feel like a soft place to land, no matter how far away I am.
I left Sweets by Alexandria behind in North Carolina, but it never really left me. Nearly three years later, it lingers — a whisper, a vibrant memory, a thing that strangers often ask me about. Over the holidays, I baked my apple cardamom cinnamon rolls (From scratch! Always from scratch.) for family and friends. It felt like reuniting with an old friend; familiar, yet not quite the same. I’ve grown and changed so much since those days—and I’m still growing, still changing. But I love who I am today.
I’ve learned to let go of the timelines and rigid expectations I once placed on myself. I’ve learned to trust that everything falls into place when the time is right.
I’m certainly not all the things I want to be yet. There is still some distance between where I am and where I dream of being. But the difference now? I’m not panicking. I’m at peace because I trust that I have time. And so should you.
The truth is, we all have time — time to grow, time to change, time to dream, time to become all the things we’re meant to be. When I reflect on my theme for this year, one word comes to mind: faith. Faith in who I am today, where I’m headed tomorrow, and all the versions of myself still waiting to unfold.
Join the conversation in the comments section
What’s your theme for 2025? 🎤
What’s a moment of faith or trust that changed your perspective? 🤔
Have you ever let go of your plan or timeline? What happened next?✨
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Alexandria, I think you are so correct that we all have so many possibilities waiting for us, and your attitude toward the excitement of what is next is lovely. You are open to it, and excited, and your word "faith" will help you move along in an assured way, which will let you be present at more of the moments in each day.
My word is "author" as in, being a writer and embracing and enhancing this part of my life (I let go of a 35 year career in education to do my passions of writing, speaking and podcasting full time, this past June), and also, as in I am the "author" of my own life. The choices I make, and the steps I take are mostly in my control and I can move toward my vision and create/author the life I want.
I didn’t realize how much I needed to read this today! As I’ve entered my late 20s, I’ve experienced this dramatic existential dread over the thought that I hadn’t met my full potential and that it was too late to pivot the direction of my life. Your mother’s sentiment on “faith” serving as an anchor of her peace resonates with me so deeply and really inspires me to meditate on this more on a day-to-day basis. Everything truly happens in the season that God intended. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Alexandria!